Tips on Toasting for Fathers of the Bride

Posted on March 23rd, 2016 by Carlos Damy

ONE OF THE MOST GRACIOUS MOMENTS at a wedding is hearing the father of the bride stand up and make an incredible, heartfelt toast to the entire room. A toast filled with just the right balance of authentic emotion, witty recollection and welcoming inclusion. Sounds easy right? For some fathers, no problem! But for many others, it’s a nerve-wracking ordeal that causes them angst for months in advance of the celebration.

FOR FATHERS OF THE BRIDE, the secret to making a thoughtful wedding day toast starts with a simple, straight-forward approach that goes a little something like this:

1. Welcome everyone;
2. Thank your guests for traveling from afar;
3. Thank your daughter’s new in-laws;
4. Thank your spouse profusely;
5. Offer a general message to all the guests about the occasion;
6. Offer a message to your new son-in-law;
7. Offer a message to your daughter; and then end with a glass raised; and
8. Make a toast to the bride and groom.

THESE PRACTICAL TIPS might also be handy. As wedding planners, we’ve learned from watching toast after toast {after toast}, and witnessing what resonated and what caused a few hiccups in the delivery:

~Stand in the middle of the dance floor, not right up against or on the stage. It might seem comforting but who wants photos of the band or microphone stands?

~Use a microphone but make sure to hold it a hand length away from your mouth. Don’t tap the microphone or wave it around.

~Fidgety? Walk up with a glass of champagne or your favorite toasting beverage.

~Consider having your spouse stand at the microphone with you, or, in your speech, ask them to join you.

~Look around the room, meet eyes with the honored guests and family members. Welcome them with words and actions, both. Remember, you know most of these people.

~Never say anything even remotely disparaging about the wedding, the wedding guests or the bride and groom. Do NOT say anything negative, even in jest, such as “I hope your marriage lasts” or “things can get tough at times” or “I wasn’t sure we were gonna make it here tonight” or anything like it. Keep it positive, keep it supportive.

~Absolutely minimize the use of the word AND as it diminishes the importance of what comes after (except when referring to the bride “and” groom). Make it two sentences, each standing on its own.

~Refer to the bridal couple as “Bride and Groom” or “Groom and Bride”; but be consistent and do not switch as you progress.

~In your speech remember to PAUSE often for dramatic effect.  Pauses are used for emphasis and generally make people listen to what’s coming next as in “Elena, PAUSE, you look so beautiful tonight…”

~Raise your voice as you near the end of the speech and are ready to offer a toast. Don’t fade out and have them wonder “what did he say?” SPEAK LOUDLY AND WITH JOYFUL ENTHUSIASM!!! “So please, stand {pause} and RAISE YOUR GLASSES to the bride and groom.”

~Try NOT to use a written speech, or if you do need one, hold it only for reminders. Don’t read from it, word for word.

~Keep it short and sweet. Don’t go longer than 2-3 minutes and don’t improvise. Tangents are deadly.

~Make sure you give a copy of your speech, and perhaps another pair of reading glasses, to your wedding planner! Just in case.

~And, of course, practice, practice, practice.

HOPE THESE TIPS ON TOASTING ARE HELPFUL? Remember, our wedding planners are here to help, so let us know how we can help you give a wonderful toast! And, let us know what tips you have for other fathers of the bride!

Cheers!

{Photos courtesy of Chris Plus Lynn Destination Photographers}